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13 Jul 2005

depression,mental illness, what is wrong with me
Please, please if there is any one out there that can help me. I had a baby boy 6 months ago who is my whole life. the problem is me....i feel up one day, and so down the next day that i think of taking my own life. This does not make sense to me, because my child is my every thing.

I am also concerned about the thoughts i have...suicide, hatred, ect. I am currently on anti deprresants but never tell the doctor how i really feel..I am to embarresed and scarred there is something very wrong with me. I also have lots and lots of anger in me.(i snap i once pushed my hubby of the road with my car(with baby in the car)....i dont have control of my anger.

I take sleeping tablets at night -4 at a time to help me relax...I think i am addicted, because i will do anything when they are finished to get some more from the doctor...even lie..(for example..someone died in my family and i cant sleep)

During the day i dont eat at all and take diet mixtures to keep me going, because i still feel drowsy from the sleeping tablets.

I have gone so far to tell people i am very sick, that is why i am sleeping so much and losing weight....I cant wait to get to bed at night....i just want to sleep and sleep and sleep.

What is wrong with me....i cant speak to any one...

Please help me i will do anything to escape this black hole....

Sunshine
Answer 414 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear Sunshine,
You sound like an excellent and loving mother, who is probably suffering from a PostNatal Depression (PND ) which can respond excellently to proper expert treatment. I hope you are seeing a psychiatrist rather than just a GP. If the antidepressant being tried isn't fully working, then another may need to be tried --- and expert can assess the alternatives best. this situation is too complex for the average GP to handle best. And you deserve nothing but the best, for yourself, your husband, and your child.
But you ABSOLUTELY MUST be totally frank with your doctor ant tell him EXACTLY how you are feeling. Any shrink would be properly understanding, and MUCh better able to treat you well, with all the necessary information --- don't short-change yourself by withholding it. The depression and anger can be treated and greatly helped, as you deserve.
From the sound of it, you may have become dependent on the sleeping pills, which can also be helped -- so long as the doctor knows what's happening. Different antidepressant medication, perhaps, and different meds to help you sleep, could help, with the depression, the anger, the sleep, and the tension. And you NEED to eat properly, and diet mixtures are usually trash, which you don't need.
You absolutely definitely CAN and deserve to escape from this deep dark hole you have partly helped to dig --- but you MUSt see a good local psychiatrist, and not only a GP, and you must be totally frank and open to hm, telling him everything that has been going on and exactly how you have been feeling, so you can work closely with him /her to get things right.
And keep in touch with us on the forum, so we can learn about your progress,
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
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