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Question

28 Jul 2006

Dilema
Please help

Hubby has got a transfer to Durban he will be starting there during the course of next week. I will stay back in jhb until i get a transfer or another job.We had decided that he will go and take our 8 month old daughter with since he will be staying at the granny flat with my mom. So mom will be with baby during the day instead of with the nanny. He would be taking the car with him, so if there is an emergency i would not be able to rush her off in the middle of the night. The Durban weather is so much better than that of jhb.

Now i feel that my mom wants to take my baby away from me. Everyday hear how she can not wait for baby to be with her and how she is planing her days. This morning she tells me i must stay in jhb for another year just in case hubby does not like his job.

I am thinking about keeping baby with me. How do i go about telling her this. I know that hubby would not mind since he his scared that i might go into depression.
Answer 365 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

OK, I understand why the plan seemed a good idea. Mom's help and the availability of the car, makes good sense. I doubt that mom is actually planning to take your child away from you, but maybe she's thrilled at this chance to look after the kid ( an her joy may be modified by some of the chores involved, when reality will set in ). Suggesting you remain in Joburg just in case hubby changes his mind about his new job sounds rather excessive, though. I understand that they might not want to do anything to encourage a depression i you, but neither keeping the baby nor letting mom care for it for a while is especially likely to do that. Why not discuss this with your husband, calmly but frankly ?
And as others suggest, examine the option of you going to Durban, even if you take long leave from your current job --- wouldn't you have a better chance of getting a better-paying job if you are actually there to seek it ?
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