Ask an expert
Question

18 Jul 2008

Disabled kids &amp  hairstyles
Hi All

I have this HUGE issue with people who cut their disabled kids (especially Down syndrome) hair in this typical " pispot"  - style. If you can understand.

So i' ve made a point out of two things Ne is always dressed in the latest styles, her clothes are super modern and throughout her life you can look at pictures and she' s NEVER messy or dirty or out of fashion - lots of times people dress the disabled with elastic pants only because its " practical"  - etc.

Her hair is sort of Jenifer Aniston style (longer but simular) lately her hair has become a point of fighthing she ALWAYS wants it ties up and away from her face and neck. Even when she sleeps. ITS NEVER LOOSE anymore. Even if I try styles where half is ties away and half is loose......She looks so stunning with her loose hair but ja it doesnt happen anymore. Every morning I undo it and bush it from top to botom - which nearly reaches her bum and she screams and shouts and it' s knots and sometimes I loose patience and just brush it without caring to hurt her (ugly I know - but im only human).....

So i want to cut it but what if she LOOKS disabled ? I dont know how to put it to come out right - even though she' s disabled i' ve always tried to make her look as good as possible (she' s even been uses as a photographic model due to her looks)....i guess im the one with the issues not her....I need to cut her hair and eliminate these fights. Washing and blowdrying it is another huge fight.

Thanks
Love MOM
Answer 573 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

I understand your point, of course, about letting a disabled person dress in a manner that looks nice and doesn't make them stand out too unpleasantly ; but then practicality does need to be part of the decision, and so, too, should their preferences be taken into account. Does Ne maybe prefer shorter hair, or find it annoyin g when its long enough to hang in her face ? Its nice i she looks "stunning" to you --- but if that feels uncomfortable for her, is that really "stunning " ? As you say, maybe it's you who has an issue about how she should look ? Its revealing when you talk about "what if she LOOKS disabled" ? Disabilities vary has to whether they are visually obvious to others, or whether they are something that can be hidden. Is it really YOU that needs her not to look disabled ?
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.