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01 Dec 2004

Divorce and custody
Hi all

My wife is divorcing me for reasons I do not know, she left me 4 months ago. I have ended up in hosptal over this seen a shrink and a psycologist. I am currently on fluxotine (1 tab a day). I'm still battling though.

We have had aggrements with regards to visitation with my daughter, and she has deliberatley ignored some of the arrangements and changes the other ones at will.

This is totally killing me. Her parents, brothers and sister are toltally against me because of the lies she has been telling. My daughter and ex-wife to be are also staying with this sister, which hurts me even more as she will not speak to me.

My ex was told by a psycologist that she needs to see a psycologist/psychiatrist, she went to one session and then stopped. Is this reasonable time for counsilling to happen, one session?

At the moment life is pretty crap.
Answer 478 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear chris, sorry to hear of your predicament, but pleased to hear that you're still battling on. Souns like you need a good legal opinion, too, to sort out this custody issue, and consider how to best protect your rights in a divorce. Otherwise she seems to be imposing on you all the disadvantages of a bad divorce, with none of the advantages.
One session is hardly ever a reasonable time in which to experct counselling to work, and it sounds more that she went so as to be able to say that she did, than with any real genuine intention of actually working on real issues.
Q's advice is usually pretty good on such matters. TO have walked out without giving proper reasons is unreasonable, and to withhold access to your daughter is improper unless a court has already decided that this would be in the best interests of the child.
As Q says, if she just "gave up" and couldn't be bothered to work towards solving whatever probelsm there were, then that says very little for her. It sounds unpleasantly as if she is being as malicious as she can, and courts should NEVER EVER assist someone in being unreasonable and deliberately malicious. Demand all the custody you want of your child, and all the access you want --- she'll fght against it, so don't start by asking for less than you want.
I understand that there were some recent developments in the law and in cases, to end the law's usual unjustifiable prejudice against fathers and in favours of mothers, nomatter how nasty, and it may be possible to assert your rights under the constitution for absolutely equal treatment.
Q is right about using whatever strategy will force her to talk and to at least attempt to be reasonable --- refusing to talk at all is sheer malice and a refusal to even look for a fair settlement, and should be frowned on very seriously by any capable magistrate or judge.
Good luck, and keep us in the picture as you go !
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