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18 Jul 2008

Do not know how to handle anymore
I am in this relationship for almost 4 years and we have a boy of 1 year. Thing is we are both divorcees, he have 2 kids out of previous marraige age 21 and 16. The one of 16 is living with us, he still pays maintanance for both kids to his ex and she is still on his med aid. We talked about this and decided she must came of and he will stop the maintanance cause the one is already 21 and the one is with us. Lately it became a big issue cause he have a problem that my ex is coming to see our kids and he pays maintanance his argue why can' t he pay for his while my ex pays for his but his one is 21 and the one is with us. This causes a lot of problems between us can you please advise me what should i do cause at the moment i want to out of this relationship our baby he does not a thing for but he wants to pay to the ex for kids that is not with her.

Thanks for your advise
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

I'm not sure I understand here. I'm not sure what the usual practice is at Maintenance Courts, but surely by 21 a child should no longer need maintenance ? And isn't the age of majority now 18, and not 21 ? The idea that you must pay so long as the person is not earning an income sounds truly daft --- what if the kid decides to never bother to get a job and is 47 and remaining unemployed --- but the ex still receive maintenance payments ?
And if the 16 year old is living with you --- why should the mother who is not caring for that child, receive any maintenance at all, for that child ? Similarly, it's unusual for someone to keep an ex-wife on his medical aid, rather than his current partner.
Uf the divorce order says till 21, that should settle the matter, especially if the child is self-sufficient --- and again, if the child is maintaining himself / herself --- why should the MOTHER receive maintenance for a child she is not maintaining ?
If this man is not paying anything towards the maintenance of his child of 1 with you, then go to Maintenance COurt and have the court decide on a fair amount which he would then have to pay. If he WANTS voluntarily to pay gifts to the other children and to his ex, this is his privilege, though it gets confusing when these gifts are called Maintenance. But the court should not consider these voluntary gifts when deciding what he should afford to pay for his tyounger child.
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