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03 Dec 2012

Do we tell our son?
My husband had a very hard childhood. He ran away from hom at a young age. Went to the army at 16. Was in reformatary schools cause he rebelled etc. He however turned his life around when he went to the army. He is an wonderful husband and father to our 14 year old son. My brother in law mentioned to him that my hubby was in reformatary. He asked me and I said no. Was I wrong? Do we tell him about his fathers reformatary school etc? I am not sure how he will react or think that if his father behaved in a cetain manner so can her. Or he might see his dad in a different light? My husband is a loving caring family man. What do I do?
Answer 977 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Its unfortunate that your husband had a difficult phase early in life, but highly admirable that he has so brilliantly turned his life around and made it so good - that is something to be commended, not hidden.
I'd wonder why your brother in law ( ? your husband's brother ? ) chose to mention the reform school aspect to your son, without checking with either of you as to whether the lad already knew - that was irresponsible and possible hostile, and needs to be understood. But the boy is probably old enough to learn of how marvellously and bravely his father, having got into trouble, turned his life around and made it so good, and how terrific a thing this was for him to do.
Telling the boy prevents any further accidental exposees, and removes any possibility for anyone else to maliciously Tell him.
The message isn't that his father once upon a time behaved badly, and no he can do so, too ; but that his father once long ago behaved badly,regretted it, and made it good. And that's what he should do if ever he does something wrong.
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