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Question

03 Mar 2004

Don't know what to believe.
I am married to the most wonderful man whom I adore. We have got a wonderful home and two beautiful kids. I have always been sure of his love and have never doubted him. But recently I have been receiving calls saying that he has been having an affair. The thing is he is alway home before me. In all the years we have been together, I think he has been on a little mission about +/- 5 times, but he always tells me where he has been and who he has been with. This person who calls me says I am living in a dream world to believe he is faithful to me. He denies everything and I believe him, I just wish this person will stop harrasing me (I've got proof). She obviously want us to split. She told him that I have been harrasing her, which is untrue. This is causing a strain on our marriage and I don't know what to believe anymore. I love him more than anything and would not do anything to jeopardise out marriage. I should not let this bother me because in my heart, I know he is faithfull to me and I am sure she just wants to get a reation out of me, which of course I am obliging, I can't help it, but my marriage is worth more than her little calls and I am not going to let her come between us anymore. I would like to know how I can put a stop to all this nonsense.
Answer 455 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Change your home phone number, and if possible, any other number on which she is phoning you. If she persists, ask your Husband to go to the court and get a restraining order against her, to forbid her to contact EITHER of you in any way or to come within x many metres of you. If he won't join you in this, surely that would be very suspicious ?
As for your response to JUlie's coment, gee, if problems only related to occasions when there was mutual attraction ! --- the fact that she imagines there coulod be something with him, doesn't have to be based on any interest on his part. What of the nuts who adore Michael Jackson or Madonna, though they've never met him and he/she has never heard of them ?
It is a good idea for you to confront her jointly, and this doesn't need to be done at work. It almost sounds as if she is blackmailing him by promising to create a scene at work if he doesn't put up with her. That's where a court order ( obtained out of the office ) could be useful. If she works direct6ly with him, then this is a form of sexual harrassment of him by her, and he should invoke the relevant legislation and discuss this with his seniors, to have her disciplined at work and redeployed so she doesn't need to be in contact with him. And he sounds as if he's being very naive here --- it's not simply an issue of trusting him, but of not trusting her.

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