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27 Feb 2004

Don't know why I thought about this today?
Hi Doc
This is not a question - just that Zoui's posting made me think that one can never really be sure about how well we know someone, just wanted to share my story about my first love.
I had a super friendship with a guy for 13 yrs - I mean we went from kindergarden right through to high school together I was sure that I knew him like the palm of my hand, YEAH RIGHT - After he took my virginity, we dated for about two years and over time became a damn monster, threatened me with a gun, started to beat me when I went to varsity ( because I associated with people other than him - it did not matter if they were male or female, they all wanted me.... according to him. Things just went downhill when I started working, he once had me by my throat up against the wall because a male colleague phoned me at night at home concerned becuase I had not come to work that day, ( I was too embarassed to go to work because he had chocked me the night before because I asked him why he felt he needed to lock me in the bedroom when he went out the night before that?)
Anyways I always told myself that he was so over protective because he loved me, I was about 20 at the time and him being my first boy friend in every sense I was not sure how to react or feel, I dont know why I am thinking about this now, I have not thought about him in four years, well anyway - the abuse lasted for six more months untill I decided to get out, I got my own place moved on with my life, changed all my numbers, my family also finally saw the abuse and helped me to get an interdict against him ( which still stands untill today)
What I am trying to say is that everyone and anyone can come out of an abusive relationship and survive and succeed, I know we are often blinded or choose to not see that there is f a problem, we also do not realise that yes there are users and abusers, losers and half choosers, givers and takers.
Life is not always fair but we always have a choice.
PS - for all the people who feel I am using this forum as a crutch please grow up as everyone has a right to post here - whether it's to express our feelings, air our opinions or just share a viewpoint.
Just wanted to share my experience.
Ok - Have a great week-end everyone ( ",)
Answer 444 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Thanks for sharing your experience of the fallibility of relationships.
I'm sure we're all pleased with how well you've done in freeing yourself from an abusive relationship, and it's a good example to encourage those currently plucking up the guts to try to escape from one, themselves.
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