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15 Nov 2004

Dont know what to do???
Hi guys,

I dont know what to do. I am so worried, and feel so helpless.

My sister contacted me this morning to let me know that my Dad has a growth in his throat. His been to the doctor, and they said they have to remove it to check for cancer. Now he is refusing to have it removed. His Father (My grand dad) died from throat cancer too. My dad is 60 Years old, and extremely stubborn. My mom has pleaded with him to go under but he wont listen.

Do we just hope for the best or is there another way? Honestly, i dont want this to end in heart ache and tears when it could be easily avoided for now.

HELP!

PARIS
XXX
Answer 399 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear Paris, sorry to hear about this alarming news.
It sounds like, especially because his father died of throat cancer, your dad is now feeling too scared to deal with it, even if there could be a chance of him saving his life by appropriate surgery. Even if he eventually decided not to accept surgery, at least he should cooperate fully in the consultation and the removal of this growth. It might turn out not to be cancer at all, or it could be one of the pre-cancerous growths, safe if removed now, but which could develop io a more dangerous growth if left alone. There's not much one can do other than talk with him, and make sure that he understands that he could be fine, and could be throwing away the chance of recovery, through refusing this advice at this stage. Maybe you can persuade him to at least see the doctor again for a fuller explanation of the situation, what surgery is ( and isn't ) planned, the risks, benefits, etc.
As kernel suggests, speak to his doctor and get advice from him and the Cancer Association about the particular type of growth he has, and leave leaflets and info around for him to be able to read, privately, on his own.
And cool down a bit, as Shaun suggests. Sometimes with a very stubborn person, the more everyone pushes him in one direction, the more he will resist and push in the other. Sometimes, one can be more subtle, and give him something to resist and push against which would, rather, lead him in the desirable direction.
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