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31 Mar 2006

Me, again. I'm sorry to be a pain about this, but I have no one else to ask.
I've been thinking about my situation, which you know by now. Thing is, I'm having a hard time adjusting to the anti-depressants my GP's given me, although I know I have to be patient with it.
Thing is CS.......I'm suddenly doubting if I really need to take these pills. Sure, they are probably going to help me, but to what extent? It's a whole process I'm having to go through, and then? Will I really be feeling so much better that I will handle my life so much better?
Or am I feeling negative about it, because it kind of scares me, because it's the unknown? How will I cope if I get used to it, and then go off it one day? Will there always be side-effects?
I haven't told my mother that I'm on meds, I feel I need to do this one on my own, I burden her with too many things. I know she loves me and she cares for me, but this one is my baby.

Is it normal to feel like this, or am I (again) complicating things? I must also get myself to go speak to a professional. It's not that I don't want to go, I'm afraid of what he's going to help me realise.

It's like there are two people inside of me. One that's open for the meds, that needs guidance, that needs help to cope. The other one is strong and fiery and confident and open to change... Wish I could be the latter most of the time.
Answer 410 views

01 Jan 0001

Hello again, Pencil,
It does sound as if you're over-worrying abou this. There are good reasons for believing that these pills could significabntly help you. Sometimes, if you're unusually sensitive to side-effects, the doc may agree that you start on half the usual effective dose, for a week or so, till your system gets used to it, then go back up to the usual efective dose. As you recognize, no pill solves every problem ; but they can help you to move from being someone so depressed and distressed, that you can't manage ( with counselling ) to sort out the problems, to someone who CAN. That's worth it. Don't fear what a professional counsellor may help you discover --- they're there to make the process as comfortable and effective as possible.
You're feeling a bit ambivalent. That's OK. But actually, it shouldn't be a problem --- one side of you, you say, needs guidance and help and welcomes it ; the strong and confident side, if it is truly open to change, ought to embrace this change, too, and will be an asset in working through these issues in the counselling.
Chelle describes the experience excellently.
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