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26 Feb 2004

Dr John Gray
Dear Cybershrink

I would like to know your opinion of Dr John Cray who wrote Men are from Mars woman are from Venus i have really found his books to be helpful and practical in idendifying problems,
i dont know why is books are so brilliant but each time i do find a book that relates to me i find million of answers.
i am reading If you can feel it you can heal it : the fear of intimacy at the moment and i must say sometimes its funny in how 100% correct his writting is in identifying problems,
the book really openend my eyes to a lot of things i didnt understand about "feelings" and different ways how one like myself deal with certain situation how what i feel project on others but its really insecurities in myself,

Reading the right book at the right time always struck me as odd till i know Its my Higher Power guiding me and showing me the answers .

Also did some reading Road less Travelled by M Peck.
I know i am babbling but its wonderful to actually read something you cant always see.

Bottomline i would like to know which books you would recommand aswell ?

Being a recovering addict i saw this brilliant program on Oprah yesterday about people who were addicted on painpills and the person there said you cant fix an addiction giving a pill to stop a pill or one substance to stop another substance you have to do it the hard work and its not easy recovering is not easy but its the best thing and WE are all worth it the best gift we can give other addicts is to tell them they are not alone....
We may struggle each day but we are not struggling alone.

Ok sorry cybershrink i just had to get that off my chest !

have a great day
Answer 460 views

01 Jan 0001

Dear Kassandra,
Actually, I thought Men were from Brakpan. Anyhow, yes of course good books can give one insights, and new ways of looking at life, maybe recognizing and affirming some things we already knew. I am looking into ways of adding to the Cubershrink section of this site, a number of new features in the coming year, to include book and other resource recommendations, along with links to good online sources of such materials.
I didn't see the Oprah show, but I suspect part of the message has been mangled. Anyone who says that proper and careful use of some drugs in the withdrawal and detox phase of dealing with substance abuse, is somejow unnecessary is a very highly dangerous fool. What I think they must have meant, is something I very strongly agree with, and which I think often causes problems here in SA --- far too many drug and alcohol programmes provide a form of detox/withdrawal phase of the long-term treatment ( essential but totally insufficient ) and then seem to dangerously lose interest --- after one is chemically clean, THEN comes the realy hard and essential work. And if they were saying that no drug or other chemical can replace that unavoidable but ultimately fruitful struggle, then they were absolutely right.
Anyone who things recovery is easy, hasn't tried it yet. And anyone who offers a brief intervention and suggests that that's all that is needed, is misleading people. You're so right there.
I find Dr Phil can be amusing at tmes, and like most successful performers and authors, he's good at saying things in a memorable and brief way. I don;t like the way he seems to accept the implication, and even to foster it, that somehow he's a uniquely and profoundly wise man, coming up with original ideas, rather than a very skilful performer who is very good at conveying insights and ideas many other shrinks have originated and provided for decades or longer.
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