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Question

28 Mar 2007

Drug Rehabilitation
Hi Doc

I need some advise with this. My fiance has been taking cocaine for 1 year continously. Whereby some days he would take up to 8g a day. At the same time he has developed a gambling problem. I only found this out on Saturday. I'm also 7 months pregnant. Now all this information I have received is quite overwhelming.

I feel that he needs to go into some sort of drug rehabilitation. He said he was going to go Cold Turkey but it has become too much for him to cope on his own and has now gone back to Coke and says he will ween himself off gradually. I don't trust him on this and I feel he needs to be admitted. He doesn't want to hear of it.

He has gambled away my entire salary and I've gotten to the point whereby I've had to be placed under informal administration as I can't afford to pay my debts. He has lost his job on several occasions and is now jobless. We will eventually become homeless within the next 2 - 4 weeks as the bank will be going to reposses our house and aution it off.

I'm in a bad place right now and I don't feel that I can go through this alone.

I don't know what to do!!!

Please help????????????????????????
Answer 429 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

I wouild be pessimistic about his chances of getting off either, let alone both, of his bad habits, entirely on his own, but he should be able to achieve this with proper help. That he has allowed himself to become dependent on both coke and gambling suggests that he has a significant vulnerability to dependency on various substances and behaviours, and that he should best see a good local rehab progam and/or shrink for assessment and professional help. Make sure immediately that he no longer has ANY possibility of spending let alone gambling away, ANY of your earnings
I'm inclined to agree with Tango --- he souinds as though he needs to hit rock bottom ON HIS OWN< and work his way back from there, without dragging you and the baby with him. And the TOugh Love folks could indeed be most helpful. Do NOT accept his emotional blackmail of threatening to kill himself if you leave --- that is an immoral and wicked from of blackmail. Get him into a rehab program first, and warn them to carry the responsibility of supporting him after you leave. He is obviously profoundly manipulative, and giving in to manipulation only strengthens that pattern of behaviour. He has full and total responsibility for himself andf the choices he has made and will make in the future --- it is not your fault, and you should not take responsibility for making him fel temporarily cheerful
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