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27 Feb 2004

Drunken Bf
Today, is really a tough day for me. I just wanna let loose, and I really don't have anybody I can talk to. I've been going out with a guy for nearly 2 years. He came out of a bad relationship where his wife cheated on him numerous times. Ever since the beginning of our relationship, he drank to much. We've had to many fights about alcohol that I'm really starting to think that I'm the wrong person here. When he drinks he starts screaming & shouting at me for no obvious reasons. I'm not the flirting type and when he drinks I sit with my friends. He really gets pshyco and he humiliates me everytime, because people stop & stare the way he goes on. I'm so scared lately to go out with him. We've broken up soo many times because of this. I'm really not the jealous type, but when someone talks to me, he just wants to give him the fist, but I have no reason to ask who the girls are that he's chatting to. I'm sooo tired and loney, because I can't talk to him about this anymore, seeing that he always blames his previous relationship on the drinking and socialising. I can't even talk to him about normal this, he always critise me whatever I do & say. He says I don't have any respect for him, but he can't even talk about respect. He comes out of a house that you wouldn't even wish upon your worst enemy. I need help!
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear Carmen,
You're describing an abusive alcoholic --- who needs a relationship with such a person ? Women, maybe some alcoholics ( and even abusers ) may seem charming when you first meet them, but before starting any relationship, rule out alcoholics, drug abusers, and relationship abusers --- they will NOT improve with keeping. Invite them to sort out their problems before you get involved with them. Break up with him, and stay broken up !
ONLY he can, perhaps, change his miserable ways, certainly you can not. Maybe he wife cheated on him --- maybe he was innocent, but if he was an abusive drunk back then, maybe she was less at fault than he was.
Again, when thinking of starting a relationship with someone who has been divorced, find out why ? It may be at least in good part, a problem with them, which you will also have. be cautious.
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