Ask an expert
Question

25 Jul 2005

Emotional Infidelity
I may have posted my problem on the wrong forum, I apologise.

We are both in our 50's. I could never take my wife into my confidence. The result was financial difficulties and a real lack of communication. My wife has a friend who went through a divorce and leaned heavily on my wife for support - no problem. When we went through our difficulty the roles were reversed. This friend got involved in finding a new house, etc. Thankfully we now live in a better house and financially improving. This friend is still involved with my wife and she is forever visiting or drinking tea with my wife. This developed into a physical (lesbian) relationship. After counseling and because both are religious they realised the mistake and undertook to end. A clean break and not seeing each other. The problem is that they still communicate (by deleted SMS) and today they were going to have tea together. We cannot mend our relationship if my wife constantly has another shoulder to lean on. How can we start to communicate again?
Answer 250 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Surprised nobody else has aded comments here, jakes. Maybe you and your wife need to consider seriously seeing a marriage counsellor to work on solving this complex situation. The lesbian relationship represented infidelity, and it was wise that that stopped. There may be no particular harm in them having tea together, but having had a close physical relationship, it may be hard for them to be simply pals again. The fact that she has an alternative shoulder to lean on doesn't have to be a problem, so long as it's another shoulder you BOTH can trust, and so long as it doesn't interfere with your own relationship. Counselling, surely.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.