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24 Jul 2006

Ending my affair
During a bad patch in my marriage and having been emosionally neglected by my husband I entered into a relationship with a married man who seemed to have the same need for affection as I did. At first it started out as a friendship but slowly progressed into something more serious. We started kissing and hugging and yes we ended up having sex once. I never considered this man a threat to my marriage as my husband is not the jealous type and I thought that I am in control of this extra marital relationship and could end it at any given time. After having had sex I realised that I am no longer in control as I never anticipated things to go that far. I want to end the affair but cannot as my boyfriend is experiencing the relationship far more intense that I have. I have tried to break up but end up everytime with compromises. He wants to remain friends and undertook not to touch or hug me ever again. I am of the opinion that after having a relationship with someone you cannot go back to "being friends" only and feel that the break up should be one where we should avoid each other where possible and trying to maintain a professional relationship when in each others' company. The problem is that I feel so guilty because I feel that I used him to get through the bad patch in my marriage and now that things are better I am tossing him aside.
Answer 524 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Is one ever in control of such a relationship ? But you CAN end it. I agree that it could be very hard to return to the point of "just friends". Maybe you used each other, to some extent, but guilt won't help
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