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17 Feb 2004

EX-Girlfriend!!!!
My boyfriend (fiance) and I are seeing each other for 4 years. He has cheated on me before (I posted Cheating Boyfriend on 10/10/2002) and of course that really did cut me up and left me always feeling insecure.

The latest obsticle that has been thrown into our relationship is that his EX - GIRLFRIEND IS NOW DIVORCED.

I will brief you abit on why this makes me so insecure, given his track record of cheating on me as well.

Let's call him Jake and call her Mini.

Well, Jake was madly inlove with Mini (this was about 6 or 7 years ago) and they were dating for 4 years until she left him for someone else 'cause Jake couldn't spoil her financially and 'cause he just worked in some factory, had a very low income and had no car, therefore Mini left Jake 'cause the other guy had everything going and just what Mini wanted and she ended up marrying him.

During my and Jakes relationship (a whole 2 years after his brake up with Mini) I have always been reminded of why he loved and how much he needed to see her for closure, or he would always compare our relationship to theirs. What really got to me is that his family even calls me on her name. Someone very close to Jake has even told me the reason why Jake treats me badly is because he still have a special place in his heart for Mini, even Jake has told me this on numerus occation.

Look the bottom line of this is, I don't want to waste my time seeing Jake and Mini get back together (I would like your opinion on this). It will really be hurtful especially 'cause I was the one who support Jake in everything he wanted to achieve and have achieved, he has a very very good job, drives a very plush car and I am so afraid that she will come along and take him away from after all the shit I have gone through with him...... namely the verbal and physical abuse, I needed to deal with the fact that he cheated on me a few times but I stuck around because I have perpetual love for this man. So I am afraid that he might want her back and she wants him back 'cause he can now support her financially. I have spoken to him about this and he promises that he does not want anything to do with her 'cause he feels that I am the one that stuck by him through everything even the shit that he has put me through.

Please help, because I don't want him to give up a solid thing that he has with me for someone who will just milk him for money.

By the way she got divorced 'cause she cheated on her husband with someone who can support every financial need.
Answer 456 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

ladybug,
I'd like to be helpful, but I really don't see how I can. As I can no longer get the batteries for my Crystal Ball, I really have no way of knowing what the motives are, of your bf or his ex, and thus, no idea of what you could most usefully do about it. I hope some of our other readers will be able to come up with more helpful responses.
But if he has been giving you verbal and physical abuse, it makes no sense for you to keep him as a bf, let alone a fiancee --- he won't improve after marriage. The puzzle then becomes why on earth should his Ex want to have an abuser back ?
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