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09 Feb 2004

EX HUSBAND STILL IN CONTACT WITH ME
Can someone shed some light on why my ex-husband keeps contacting me (via phone) every 2 weeks.

He says that he is involved with someone else (ex girlfriend), although the relationship is not perfect.

I have asked him to refrain from contacting me, as he has obviously moved on with his life and I need to do the same (I have not dated since we got divorced 2 years ago).

When he does phone we talk about business etc. he says that she is not very business minded. He also enquires what I am doing with my life etc. He has been asking about me to outsiders as well.

Is he holding on incase his relationship goes south with her or does he still have feelings for me. If he is seriusly involved surely you do not contact other women? I have asked him how she would feel if she found out but received no answer.

So question is, is he holding on in case their relationship goes south or is he just keeping me on a string for convenience sake.




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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Di, I don't think any of us can guess what his motivations truly are, and your suggestions sound potentially valid. Remember, we seldom act with one single motivation. So maybe he still has some feelings for you, maybe he's trying to have his cake and eat it, and maybe he'd like to keep in contact as an emotional lifeboat if his new relationship doesn't work out. And it sounds as if, apart from love as such, he might be missing you in terms of your understanding of business, etc., which the new woman can't match.
While you might also wish to keep the door partly ajar, you may want to proceed with the rest of your life, rather than waiting for him to make his mind up !
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