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13 Dec 2004

Ex's visiting rights
According to our divorce settlement, my ex is entitled to have my son one long and one short holiday every year. The boy is now 15yrs old and flatly stated that he has no desire to visit his dad this holiday. My ex, on the other hand, says its his right to see his son and refuses to listen to any explanation or pleas from our side. The situasion is getting out of hand - there is a week left before my son is due to get on the bus to Cape Town, and hes threatening to run away if I make him go.

I dont want to force him to go, but also I feel (a) that his father definately has a legal right and (b) he is refusing to go for some very selfish reasons (his friends parents invited him to go on holiday with them, unfortunately in the same timeframe that he will be visiting with his dad).

PLEASE, CAN ANYONE TELL ME HOW TO HANDLE THIS SITUATION??
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Check with your lawyer. While a court would presumably be concerned about a mother refusing to allow a father the visitation rights the court had granted, the interests and wishes of the child are supposed to be paramount, and I doubt that any court would want to force an unwilling 15-year-old to go on a visit he didin't welcome.
As I understand i the father has a legal right to have the son visit, but NOT a legal right to force the child to do so.
Q makes good snse in suggesting that you get your boy to speak to his dad and explain his attitude ---maybe they can negotiate a different timing for his visit to his father.
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