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22 Jul 2005

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I have this friend who complains that he always has to explain everything to everyone. He says that people expect too much from him, and that he is tired of having to justify his behaviour to everyone. Last night he got so worked up because of this issue.

I need your advice because he feels he has to justify his actions to me as well, and I feel that I dont demand much from him at all. I am starting to feel that I must just take whatever he dishes out to me and be happy with it. If he makes a promise and doesnt keep it, I must not ask any questions and just be ok with it. Is this normal?? I want to keep him as my friend, but then friendship or any relationship is a 2-way thing! Please advise.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Gee, I can't imagine what it must feel like to always have to explain things to people ! :}
Have you tried simply explaining to him that you don't think there's any need for him to explain himself to you, and that you have few demands on the friendship, so with you he can just relax ? But explain that because you want a normal and healthy friendshuip, if he doesn't keep a promise, it seems perfectly reasonable to ask him about it, as he should feel free to dfo in return.
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