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03 Apr 2006

family too much in my private life
I am soon to start working for my in-laws and quite stressed. I don’t have any other job options at the moment and need the experience so I have to take it for now. I just hope that it does not ruin the relationship between us. I think it is better not to discuss the job details with friends and other family members as I don’t want to mix business with family too much. My mother doesn’t seem to understand this and is very inquisitive and wants to talk about the job which is annoying. I told her in a polite way that I don’t want to discuss the details of the job but I think this has offended her. She also sees my mother in law quite regularly and I know for a fact that she talks about many personal things behind my back. I am worried that she will ask my mother in law everything about my job there. I feel that almost everything I tell my mother is told to everyone else she knows and for this reason I tell her only a few things. Sometimes I wish me, my son and my husband could just move away from all family as it seems as if they are too much in our lives and now it will be worse with working for family. I get on okay with my mother in law but sometimes there are instances where she seems to be telling me how to look after my son and buys him things which she says I must use for him. Maybe she is just being helpful but I know how to look after my own child. Am I being oversensitive?
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Of you'll check out the archives of this forum, you'll find that this is a sadly common complaint. This is one reason why working for family businesses is often not a good idea. Mothers and mothers-in-law, lacking the direct responsibility for your life, work, and child-rearing, are in the luxurious position of being able to advise, without having to carry any responsibilities. There's not much you can do except to talk calmly with each of them, explaining how you feel, and asking for what you want in regard to independence
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