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Question

18 Feb 2004

fat and me
Dear Doc

I am writing this because I don't understand what I am afraid of. I am f, 20 something and 18 kg overweight and the longest I have been with any one is 2 weeks.

I understand why people think I am weird while thinking about this. The reason why I am fat is besides eating when bored and stressed because I have this strange worry that people won't like me when I am thin. I 'm scared of being sexy and looking succesfull and that Ill get to much attention from men because I don't want to be judged. And even better I have this "great" plan that I want to meet my future man while I am over weight because then I will know that he loves me for my personality.

Where back In real live, I know that this is affecting my health, my convidense, work, friendships and stopping me from being me. So how do I stop this childish mental thoughts. I mean Im telling myself that I dont worry what people think but It bugs me more then what it does that they might think I am a failure. And I am a total commitment fobic. (I grew up in a loving home so cant blame it on my childhood :)

How do I change this madness? (and yes I know I am a perfect candidate for counseling)
Answer 444 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

hiding,
You've recognized several important aspects of your situation, like "scared of being sexy" --- indeed, some people hide behind being overweight, to avoid the choices and responsibilities of being more atractive to others.
Fat or thin, judgemental people will judge you, as they judge everyone, and other people won't. Fat or thin, some people will like you and others won't.
As you already recognize, you are indeed an excellent candidate for counselling, which could help you a great deal to sort out this nest of worries you have built for yourself, and help you to liberate yourself. What are you waiting for ? Are you worried that if you became less neurotic and more happy and free, this would somehow be undesirable or undeserved ?
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
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