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29 Nov 2004

Feel inadequate as caught hubby masterbating over porn mag
I walked in on my hubby, with whom I had what I thought was a really good relationship, masterbating over a porn magazine. I am totally blown away and I don't know what to think. Should I be hurt, offended, concerned, worried? The girl he was looking at is young, blond and has a wonderful body, none of which are me. How can I now let him see me naked, surely he will be comparing? I also feel I should punish him because of this incident but I know that too is not right. My hubby has always had an obsession with weight. What do I do??
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

C, check out the archives of this forum, as we've discussed this topic surprisingly often, and you may find earlier discussions useful, too. You probably do have an excellent relationship. The girl he was looking at was pretty and UNREAL --- there is no comparison, for him with you, live, real, loving and actually there. He won't be comparing, any more than you might admire the physique of a swimmer you might see on the sports channel, and make unpleasant comparisons with your husband, who is probably far short of an adonis himself. {unishment would punich you more than him --- it's normal behaviour.
If you caught him reading a cookbook or food magazine ( a relative of porn which more women enjoy reading ) you wouldn't be too ashamed to cook for him again, would you ? And if he caught you reading a romance novel or watching a soapie, should he assume that you have no love for him ? He surely loves and desires you, and can admire another pretty and unavailable woman, just as he admires those fancy sports cars in the magazine pictures, without actually planning to buy one, and without looking down on the car he does drive with pride.
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