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11 Aug 2008

feel like I&#39 m having a nervous breakdown
Hi there Doc

I am a new mommy to a 9mth old baby girl. I work full time and lateley I feel like I' m not coping at home or work. My husband refuses to help me with the daily chores and we both leave the house at 6h30 and return at 17h30. We even travel in 1 car. I try to do everything at home, but my daughter is very demanding at after about 6h30pm she no longer wants her daddy around, just her mom. When I ask my husband to hold her so that I can take a bath or wash up, he tells me to put her in the pram or the walking ring as he is tired from a long day at work. He recently got promoted, so I know that he is tired and stressed, but I don' t know how to let him know that I am also tired. I' ve started coming to work late and that is making me feel more miserable. I' ve spoken to my boss and she understands, but now I have to stay later to work in my time, which is only fair, but now I get home at 6 and have even less " free time"  to do chores. Sometimes I go to bed at 1 as I have to make sure little one is asleep before doing laundry, etc. I also found out that my best friend, who I have been depending on alot is the one making trouble for me at work and now I feel I' m totally losing it. I don' t feel suicidal, but at times, when my husband nags and I' m driving, I feel like crashing the car into the pavement or something. I also cry alot lately and sometimes can' t stand my daughter' s crying, even if she doesn' t nag, just a normal cry. That makes me feel even worse and I don' t know how to make all this better. Please tell me if I should see a doctor as I don' t know whether my system will be able to withstand much more
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Being a new mom is a dificult and exhausting job, as is starting a new job of work. Its unacceptable that a husband refses to help with the chores in such a situation --- that's just selfish and Neanderthal. Yes, you're both tired and stressed --- that doesn't mean the chores must all be left to you. Maybe you should calmly explain to him that this is not possible, and leave chores that benefit him, to one side, only to be done when you have rested and done what you need to do for yourself and the child. Leave his laundry --- he can do it himself, or wait until you have rested and have time to spare.
You may also have a significan degree of PND, Post-Natal Depression, so do see a GP or preferably a good local psychiatrist for an assessment and treatment advice, as this condition can be dangerous, but also responds really well to proper treatment. The suicidal thoughts must be taken seriously, and you deserve help. You could be feeling a great deal better than this before long.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
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