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04 Apr 2006

feel so weepy....
Hi CS et al
yip, i did it - when i got home yesterday, my eldest son had packed his things and went to his dad. i was quite relieved because i thought we were going to have a standup screaming match. later on, the younger son came home and wanted to know why i had kicked his brother out as he is not responsible for the ex not paying maintenance. i explained that that is not the reason - my reason was that i am expected to be there for all the donkey work (e.g. son did'nt make enough money last month to pay the baby's creche fee's so i had to pay it - R1000) but he condones his father's behaviour and enjoys fun time with him knowing that the maintenance has'nt been paid for more than a year now. why do i feel so heartsore today? how am i going to be strong because no matter what i do, my message just never seems to penetrate and between my ex and my sons, they manage to turn everything around to suit them, but they dont see it for what it really is?
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Well well well, Carli ; so he took the hint --- apparently because you stood your ground, he understood that you really meant it ( and maybe he also harbours the fantasy that he could have fun living with dad. May he and your ex indeed have an instructive time together. I'm pleased, too, that you explained to oungr Son why this happened, and that it is not about maintenance though perhaps in part due to Older Son refusing to bother to maintain himself ). You feel heartsore because you are a kind and caring woman, even though what you have done is for the boy's benefit, you are not used to refusing him anything he wanted ( which was never good for him ). And you are breaking a habit, and that's never easy to do. Now cut communication with Ex and Older Son, and let them spend time getting to know each other, really well !
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