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19 Jul 2005

Feeling kinda blu
hey doc
how u doing? 2day i feel like someone hit me hard in the chest....feel so down - haven't felt this way since the thing that happened with alex - the seizure and drug thing.
feel so alone.....guess should be used to that feeling - have been avoiding getting involved for a while, & i know u said i should give it a break....but really feel ready to love and be loved and share things with someone special. Have bn thru sum hectic sh**, meet strange people....damn - just finding out - I spent nearly 2 years loving a man, I called my angel, who's actually turned out to be a cheap imatation of Ali G!!!
2 wks ago, a guy wanted to get serious - but he's like 9 yrs younger than me?????????? Has a responsible job,home, toys, a process engineer.....but does he have the life experience i've had????
met another guy, whom i think is very very nice....but doubt if anything will happen - we did the coffee thing - he told me his life story - he broke up with a girl, after 3 yrs of much conflict, only to discover a week later that she's pregnant. So, now he's planning to do the whole give his child 2 happy homes instead of one unhappy one....but i know she wont leave him be....she's really young, like 23 & theres no way she'll do this on her own.
Crap.....what the hell, is love anyway???? it goes out the window, and u're lied to. so what am i searching for? got to work, will carry on with sum more thoughts just now....
the sun is shining 2day....but its dark in my world.....
u take later
Answer 445 views

01 Jan 0001

Hi Princess,
maybe it's not so much that you need to get used to being alone, but to feeling comfortable and confident on your own. And the sun will shine again, in your world, and not such a cold world, either. It's a shame when people turn out to be less than we thought them to be, but we're always better off for discovering the truth rather than living with a flimsy fantasy. I hope you each find what you're looking for.
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