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25 Feb 2004

fights, fights, fights!
My fiancee and I just had a fight.He wanted to go to a party @ a dam with his friends, and he invited me 2 go with, but it looked like i wasnt gonna go. So I told him i dont really want him 2 go without me.Was this insensitive of me to tell him that?I said he was going cuz he hasnt seen his friends in 2 yrs.So then he sms'd me just now and told me hes tellin the guy hes not going anymore and i must find a new boyfriend cuz he cant take my being grumpy. Then he phoned me and we spoke about it.He said he just cant handle my moaning and groaning when I cant get my own way.He said every time i dont get to see him i moan, and it makes him feel bad and makes him feel like an ass.I never meant to make him feel like that. We're both 20 and still live with our parents.He gets upset as well, because my parents have got a problem with me sleeping over by his house when his parents ARE there, he says they treat me like a child and its not right.My parents being so protective is a problem (well its more my dad), it irritates my fiancee and me.What can I do to make my parents give me more freedom?Its putting a strain on him and I.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

it sounds like you two are both over-reacting. YOu're too young emotionally to be getting engaged yet, especially as you don't seem to know much about each other so far. Your parents concerns are perfectly reasonable, espcially as you are stll living with them. Sleeping with your bf isn't really a major Human Right that has to be fiercely defended, especally if your relationship is as rocky as you describe.
it's not wholesome to be so dependent on him that you feel anxious or irritated when he plans to spend some time with other friends -- that's excessive and not good for your relationship with him. If he went overseas for 10 months, it'd be understandable that you'd miss him. If he goes to be with old friends for a half day, and you miss him enough to get alarmed and naggy, then you're far too hooked on him, and need to develop a life of your own, as well as one with him.
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