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29 Nov 2004

Finances in marriage
Hi cyber - I'm not actually pennyless but have a situation.
I live with my hubby for 8 years. We both worked and still do. I paid all my own things and he his. He paid the bond and I paid for the food. I am much older than him and at the stage where I would love to be at home. I am a true home executive, love cleaning organising gardening (although I have gardener twice a week and cleaning lady 3 times a week) Thing is financially things have stayed the same since we got married and he now says he didn't marry me to support me and I must work to pay for my own things. I might add that he earns a fortune although I have no idea what he earns - he has just bought himself a 4 x 4 and I have a small car which I pay for. am I being unreasonable. He will not divulge his earnings either. Is this the way it's always going to be ? I dearly would love to stay home, cook, sew etc etc. We have no children and live well. He is actually selfish I think. My elderly mother stays on the property and she pays "rent" as well ?? What do you think.
Answer 379 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Hi PL,
Sounds like a very mercenary and dodgy response on his side --- outrageously mean. If you hadn't been there to provide all the help and support and to pay your way from the start, would he actually be earning his "fortune" at this stage ? You are not being unreasonable in considering hiom to be unreasonably mean and stingy, and apparently lacking in love. Sounds like it's only the money he loves. It may be wise for you to see a good lawyer, and investigate your rights, as he may be merciless if he decides to take his money and make love to it alone.
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