Ask an expert

09 Nov 2006

Could someone please help me to understand. My boyfriend (of 10yrs) has cheated on our relationship and I terminated it. Now I have been advised to "forgive " him. What I don't understand is why must I forgive him while he denied flatly the wrongdoing despite clear evidence that I had. Maybe I don't understand what that forgiveness mean .

Secondly, how will I know If I am ready to forgive him because I still feel He betrayed me ( after all that we have been going through).

Thirdly, We live in the same area and everytime I come across Him, I don't know how to react, that is whether to greet him or not.
Answer 398 views

01 Jan 0001

Who has had the cheek to "advise" you to forgive him ? have you noticed how many busybodies there are, constantly eager to stick their long noses into other people's business, and to urge us to forgive other people. They themselves have generally never experienced anything significant enough for the issue of forgiveness to even arise. Do NOT focus on forgiving someone who hurt you, cheated you, and is unrepentant --- it will do no good to him or to you. Tell the nosy one to work more on forgiving themselves for interfering in matters that are none of their business.
As kat says, when and if you meet him by chance, be polite and cool, and leave it at that. The only sense in which "forgiveness" is appropriate lies in you freeing yourself from any remaining bonds of bitterness that could tie you to him, so that you give up on anger and resentment that are unpleasant and unhelpful for you
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
Voting Booth
Have you entered our Health of the Nation survey?
Please select an option Oops! Something went wrong, please try again later.
32% - 9438 votes
68% - 20008 votes