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14 Jan 2004

Friends of the opposite sex a BIG NO NO!!!Pls help
Good people, please assist me here.
I’ve been in a relationship with this woman for 1 year 4 months. I love her dearly and I know she does too. Like every other relationship we have our up and downs but we get over them & move on.
Shortly after we started our affair she indicated to me that she has an ex who cant get over her and he call’s & sms her regularly in an effort to win her back. I advised her to tell him to back off coz she’s move on & she’s in love with someone else (ME). Well it worked and he stopped communicating with her (as far as I know).
Now a few weeks after that she said to she’s not “comfortable” with me still speaking to an ex who still has a crush on me. Well I understood this and I stopped all forms of communication with her including changing my Cell No. About 2 months ago she told me that she’s not comfortable with me speaking to ANY ex of mine. PS. Ive never had an ugly break up so until then I kept in touch with most of my Ex’s. Okay again I understood & I stopped talking to them. I was not entirely happy about this coz some of them were really good friends but I did it coz I love this woman.
Just yesterday, I was told by the same woman that she’s not comfortable with me speaking/communicating with any female person who’s not my relative. Is this normal coz I really don’t think so! But then again most of them are my friends some of which I’ve known since Pre-School. But because I love her, Im considering doing it but my problem is will it stop here?(I have not answered her yet) Or it will be a quarterly request? How do I know next time it will be my female colleagues and study mates? Then my female relatives? Then my mother? Where is this gonna lead me? Did I do a mistake by submitting to her demand once?
Just to fill you in she also has male people she speak to but she says her’s are not friends like mine.
The last thing I need is this whole thing to lead to a situation where I store female names under male names on my phone/diary…like Carol for Caroline. I love her but I have a life you know.
Please help and I’ll accept it if I’m wrong.
Regards
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

See what our other readers have to say ( if she doesn't object to you reading what other woman have to say ?). It does sound as if she's unreasonably over-reacting, and may need to get reasonable and realistic, or a continuing relationship with her could rapidly become constricting and unpleasant.
If you both have issues about trust, and want to solve them, how about entering relationship counselling together, and work towards understanding yourselves and each other, well enough to feel more secure and trusting ? Dont give up all your friends just because she feels insecure, and would prefer you to feel as insecure as she already does !
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