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Question

09 Dec 2004

frustrated

I met this man in 1999 and I couldnt say yes to him because I had a problem with somebody my friend who had raped me in 1997. I've been to so many psychiatrists but in vain till to date I am not cured.

I have dicided to say yes now to this man but the problem is I dont know how, because each time I met with him I just think of the rapist and then cry.

Please help me
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear Thandiswa,
I am so sorry to hear of your horrible experience of rape, and that you are not yet free from the pain it caused you. I agree with snowy tha you shouldn't rush into this ( and persist in seeking the right psychiatrist or, much better, a psychologist, to finish the important work of recovery from this ) --- and that if you think your relationship with this guy could be real and lasting, that you'll need to talk about this to him, so that he knows what happened, what has been affecting you. As Shaun saysm check with POWa and Rape Crisis programs, maybe joining a group of women who have had similar experiences, could also help you. And Orie's is very important, wise, and worth re-reading.
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