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18 Jul 2005

Frustrations
For the positive note - got my anti-anxiety medication, so I'm not quite so stressed anymore.

On the negative note - that jerk who happened to father my children and has had illegal custody of them for over 2 years, went and told my youngests' grade 0 teacher that he refuses to honour his contract with her since its MY fault that the children will not be in the school anymore.

The teacher tried emotional blackmail and told me that she wouldn't give back Wynands' things until the amounts are paid and that she's been the one giving him motherly love for the past 2 years. Yep - she actually managed to hurt me there. What kind of person goes around hurting others and then saying that she is loving? I'm just glad that my son is out of her clutches.

Yet I didn't sign the contract stating that I would give a months notice before taking them out of the school - that jerk did. But no, according to her, he wasn't going to move to Margate anymore. This morning he told me that he's moving at the end of the month.

So I'm hurt and I'm angry - not a good combination. He's a liar, he's manipulative and I ask you this - what kind of person kills a defenseless cat just because he doesn't like it? (Once it was my cat, the other it was my oldest sons' cat - and before I forget, there was also the times where he starts the car and immediately starts driving. Two cats and a dog died as a result of this habit. )What kind of person shakes his wife where I actually got whiplash? What kind of person squeezes would squeeze my arms so hard that I'd wear long sleeve shirts just to hide the bruises. Every time I speak to him, I can still feel the bruises, the sore muscles. And since I refuse to be intimidated by him anymore it drives him nuts and he purposely does things to hurt me. Sometimes I just let it roll of my back, but there have been a few times where my feelings are just terribly hurt. Is this emotional abuse?

I'm very sentimental and would rather have Wynand get his old stuff back. In my experience it helps to have familiar things with you when you go to a strange place. It provides an anchor when things are under the weather. Do all children feel this need? I remember moving to a different school each year during primary school. It always helped that I had something - like the same schoolcase, the same ruler, pen etc. that I had the previous year.

Am I even thinking logically today? Or am I just a raw bundle of emotions?
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

I would seriously consider reporting that teacher to her principal and to the Provincial Educational and/or welfare authorities, as her behaviour sounds highly unprofessional --- is she holding a child's possessions ransom because his father owes her or the school money ? There's nothing remotely loving about her, so don't waste time feeling humiliated by her selfish and cruel comments.
You cannot be held liable for any contract signed by your ex --- if she wants to pursue anyone in her greed, she must ask HIM to pay whatever she thinks HE owes her --- it's nothing to do with you. The contract was between Him and Her. Tell her to address all her demands to him.
ANyone who kills dogs and cats, not only receives my most profound disgust, but should be prosecuted wherever possible. But you are now describing more clearly how abusive he was --- and thus how good it is that you are now free from him. ( And maybe the tranquillizers, which have some effects a bit like alcohol, are being a bit disinhibiting, and bringing these old hurts back towards the surface again ?) Of course this is continuing emotional abuse, so become ever more skilled at ignoring this when he tries these old and dirty tricks.
As Joanne e says, if the horrid grinch insists on the pathetic step of keeping a little child's things, and punishing a child for his father's meanness, then make a big fuss about how he now desrves a special new set of things, because he's such a big and clever chap. Maybe find things that are different from and which he could see as even a bit better than those of his oldest brother.


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