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31 Jul 2008

Gambling and tantasising
Dear CS,

I think I am in trouble, firstly I LOVE going to the casino and gamble, the amounts are growing that I put in, always hoping and wishing.

But what concerns me more is that I fantasise about winning, I wake up in the monring and think about it, before I go to bed I imagine what it would be like to win a few thousand and what I would do with it, pay off this and that and buy some nice things. It is is feeling of well being of then being able to spoil my family like surprising my husband by paying off his credit card or taking care of all our accounts for a month or two. When I am in the casino the money is not money. my mind goes blank, i don' t think of anything, no worries in the world. Then when I walk out it hits me oh my goodness that was like R 500.00 I just blew so how do I juggle the rest of the month. I do not hide the fact that I go to the casino but I do not let on how much I have put in.

Why do I do this, when I know full well that the odds are stacked against me. I would really appreciate your input so that I can replace this bad habit with something that will make me feel equally good. I work hard for my money and it just would be so nice just once to be able to settle all the little bills without effort or worry.

Thanks for your help
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

OK, you are becoming dependent on, hooked on, gambling, and the thrills associated with it, and as you are already increasing your stakes, you're increasing your chances of losing big, rather than increasing your chances of winning. Its the fantasies you enjoy. Concentrate rather on forming detailed fantasies about LOSING --- about how you'd struggle to explain it to your husband and family, how they'd have to go without things, to pay off your debts.
And the casinos are cleverly and cynically designed to have just the effect you describe. You use chips wherever possible, so it doesn't really feel like money ; you can't see daylight so you'll lose track of the time. See a CBT counsellor to work on controlling and then stopping this growing pattern ; and also check out the responsible gambling number they're supposed to provde at the casino, to get help for gambling dependency.
Of course it'd be lovely to pay all the bills without worrying --- but it's actually rapidly increasing the problems you will have in paying off anything. Keep reminding yourself of the grim realities, and don't indulge in those inaccurate fantasies
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