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Question

28 Jan 2004

getting closure after being cheated on by writing a letter?
You know my story by now, I went to my shrink again yesterday, she said i should write a letter as if I am writing it to him, all my hurt feelings , everything to get closure.

How do i get closure by doing this, i cannot actually give it to him, becos that will just spark a new attack on me by him and his now-wife?

I have to get closure, I just want to get rid of all these negative hatred! Please help.

"U probably remember me, my ex boyfriend cheated on me, got engaged to this woman while we were still going out, broke it off with me, only telling me 4days later that he got engaged, and got married 3 weeks later to her. He was the first person I slept with, so I am finding it hard to get over the feelings of being used and tossed away. I never got closure, he just broke it off, saying that he never wants to get married, but in the meantime he got engaged to this person. And I have to deal with feelings of negativity, distrust and the rest."
Answer 2,302 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

d, of course you ought to have discussed with your shrink exactly what she had in mind about the Letter, to be sure you understood the recommendation. As it is usually used, this method is all about you getting the chance to express all your feelings, of all sorts, about what happened, NOT about actually delivering such a letter to him. He sounds like such a louse he probably couldn't understand or respect such a letter.
Something similar is used in people having severe problems in a bereavement --- they may write a letter to the person they lost, although that person is dead --- the aim is to express it and get it off your chest ; not to get it to the other person.
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