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22 Aug 2007
My 3 yr 4mth old son refuses to poo in the toilet or anywhere else other than in a nappy. He asks for a nappy to be put on then goes and sits out of sight (sometimes with a book like Daddy) and then comes back to be changed a few minutes later. The faeces is not hard and he goes regularly, at least once a day. He says he is scared to use the toilet. He urinates in the toiilet standing or sitting, so the problem is not with the toilet itself. We have tried bribery, a star chart, and not making a fuss but nothing works. We have told him we have not bought any more nappies and are showing him what is left in the packet. PLEASE HELP!
The parenting forum may have some useful suggestions here. I frankly haven't had much experience at toilet training, but I know that some kids find the idea of performing on the toilet somehow uncongenial. Its curious that he is happy to urinate while seated on or standing at the loo, so as you say its not the loo per se that is bothering him. Some kids do have an odd sense of possession about faeces, and seem to feel some sense of loss about parting with them ; some may even, peculiar though it may seem to us, enjoy the way stickiness sensation rather than using the loo. Maybe this is just a tad too early for him, He sounds close to being able to master this art, and already has the major component, of being able to recognize when he needs to defecate, I wonder whether postponing the crunch / challenge for a few more months might help ? And meanwhile, talk admiringly of other kids you have come across, who, even a bit younger than him, have mastered the art of using the toilet in this way, and make it clear that you'll be happy when he's ready to do things that way, and ask him to tell you when he is.
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