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04 Jul 2005
going with the flow
Do I have a problem? When I meet a guy, I want to know exactly where I stand with him after a few weeks. I cant handle the grey areas in life, it must be all or nothing with me. I know this is not always possible, because it takes time to see if someone is for you. How can I relax more and go with the flow?
Taking an All or Nothing approach to life and to relationships, all too often leads one to Nothing, and never leads to All. As Purple says, this sort of approach would be very off-putting to the guys you meet, maybe more so to the ones you would actually like. You seem to be describing what we might call a poor toleration of ambiguity, whereas its a fact of life that life is largely ambiguous. Counselling would probably help a lot, so long as you didn't demand total results in 2 sessions !
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