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06 Dec 2005

Hard time
Hi there,

Well it's been awhile since I've chatted to you. Thing is I have thought about all your comments and CS I've managed to speak to a counsellor but to no avail. I still feel the same...the dark mood and depression and seems though no one is able to lighten me up.

I probably deserve to live, but can not see the point in doing so. Things are not exactly getting better although I am trying. I am tired and most probably a victim of what they call burnout.

I feel like this won't go away, no matter how hard I try. I can't see through this, it is too much pressure...I am drowning in this. I can't seem to sleep and also can't seem to stay awake.

Answer 447 views

01 Jan 0001

You do indeed deserve to live. And if you can't see the point of it YET, then that will come if you don't, insist on giving up too soon. I wonder what happened with the counsellor --- did you tell him/her exactly how you were feeling, and actually start work on moving forwards towards better ways of facing life ? Did you tell him/her that you felt the session was "to no avail" ? Don't expect too much too soon --- you spent quite some time becoming depressed, and it'll take some time to get out of it. And you needed also to see a psychiatrist for proper assessment and medication, as well as the counselling.
I am pleased to hear that you are trying. it is sadly typical of marked Depression that one feels the situation is hopeless even when it is not so ; and research has shown that even one's perception of the work around becomes biased, so one sees the bad things and not the good.
And as Hard Time suggests, you could use some of your ime to be helpful to others in need of support and assistance. And Figured It Out's commends are brilliant and worth careful re-reading and thinking about.

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