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14 Dec 2005

Hate being intimate with hubby
I was molested at a very young age & at the age of 18 was forced to perform oral sex on a guy. I was never sexually active before the incident (16), but met my hubby & tried to be intimate, just can't. Its to hard & find it disgusting. I know that its to do with my past & have been seeing a shrink, but its just not working & I'm tired on trying to work at it, its too hard & being intimate makes my stomach turn. Sometimes I get physically sick. I love my hubby to bits, but lately we fight like cat & dog & I'm worried we going to get divorced. The subject has come up a little to often.

He says I don't love him anymore because I cant stand being intimate. I tell him its not him, but he says it doesn't do his ego any good & does get to him.
I feel like we drifting apart & the more we fight the more ready I am to get divorced and live on my own, never having to worry about sex ever again.
I don't want to lose him.
Answer 411 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

You're doing the right thing, to see a shrink, but I;m sorry to hear that this han;t produced results --- maybe another shrink could be more useful to you ? Ask your shrink to be clear about what aims he/she has, and when you should be able to expect to see definit results. Just mumbling on about things for months or years would get you nowhere. CBT oriented therapy would definitely help. It is aimed at exactly changing such negative associations and setting you free from them. You are NOT beyond help.
Persist. The aim isn't to require you to be secually active, but to make you free to be able to do so, freelly and with pleasure, when you wish to. It's about freedom, in the end.
EXCELLENT responses from all the other readers here --- well done, guys !
And mariage counselling for the pair of you could also be very useful.
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