Ask an expert

31 Jul 2008

Even though I am on anti-depressants and consultated counsellors, I still cannot get over the hatred for my ex-boyfriend and his family. I know that we as mere mortals cannot just wish people to disappear, but sometimes I sit here and hope that he and his family would just die. We were together for 2 and a half years, and I gave him my life and a beautiful baby, then he walked out on me and our child. When we broke up he was openly showing off his new girlfriend, he used to tell me that I' m fat during our relationship and his new girlfriend was 3 times bigger than me. I hate what he did to me , he used me financially, emotionally, His family took advantage of my good nature and I would drive them up and down, now I no longer have a car and they see me walking on the street to work and they wont even pick me up. I hate him so much that I wish he could die. I never want to see him again, he doesnt support my baby so it wont be any loss in my life. Right now I am so consumed by hate its making my stomach turn.
Answer 513 views

01 Jan 0001

You need a better trained and experienced counsellor / therapist, to help you realize how your continuing to cling to this hatred harms you and not him. Let him and his family be dead TO YOU --- live as though they don't exist any more, and don't give them the power over you which your hatred gives them. From your description, he was a louse -- celebrate being rid of him. And move on with the rest of your life, without insisting on contaminting it by remembering him.
But do go to the Maintenance COurt and have the court order him to pay reasonable maintenance for the child --- then he wil have to do so.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.