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20 Feb 2004

Have I gone too far?
3 year relationship. have no friends. relocated to another town with my bf, 1600 km away from my family. my bf started working at the same company as me. we see each other 24/7 since the very first day (more than 3 years ago). sold my car. lost my identity. lost my selfrespect. lost my will to go on...

we see every fight (every 2nd day) as a opportunity for both of us to say the most hurtful things. whenever the one person is willing to say "I am sorry" the other carries on with being sturrburn. we threat each other with sucide. i never knew that hatred lies so closely to love. i never knew that one can say such things. i don't know myself anymore, i can't believe the swearing, neg language that comes out of my mouth.

last night was the worse fight ever. we stayed up until 4 am. woke up at 6, sit here @ work, feeliing like a zombie.

i booked a flight home for tonight. want to get away for the weekend, scared to board that plane. scared that he will do something irresponsible. scared to be apart from someone that I never was apart from in 3 years.

have i gone too far to book that plane ticket? i can't get the money back if i cancel, i don't give a shit about the money, should i go or stay?
Answer 471 views

01 Jan 0001

Yes, me, FAR too far. It is NEVER wholesome to form such a relationship with ANYONE, in which you become so excessively dependent on each other, and with an exclusion of other people in your life. You cannot live with mutual suicide blackmail. Go home, maybe, if you can arrange some leave, even for a week or two. Chill out there, talk things over with your folks and old friends. And tell him not to threaten you with suicide or any other such hostile act, and that you need this time out and he ought to appreciate that.
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