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12 Dec 2005

He wants to get married
(just a note - weirdly enough, posting 11297 wasn't me!)

Hi all... hope the weekend was splendid...
I had a good one - things between bf and I are picking up and things were fine (except for the fact that I didn't see him Saturday - he spent the day with his brother (on short notice) and I felt a bit left out, but it turned out ok) - yesterday we had a lovely, relaxed day, and out of the blue he asked me if I'm ready to get married.

It hit me like a axe right between the eyes, and between the rooms of my heart! He wants to marry me - seriously. I mean, we've talked about this so many times, joking around, always talking in terms of "one day when we have our own house" or "one day this.." or "one day that"... there was once when he brought it up and (this was at the beginning of the year) asked me how I felt about getting married and settling down - I was so flustered, I didn't know how to react... And yesterday aswell - I dodged the subject like someone standing on very hot coles - He wants to marry me and by the sound of things he wants to ask me to marry him sometime next year... he mentiones "2006" a lot and smiles and winks and nudges when he says it...

My question is - I'm I begin totally silly in on realising what I have in this guy - YES - we have issues - but are they really big enough for me to pack my bags and go away to Europe?

I'm almost 26.. still young, I know, but - isn't it time to realise what I have and get engaged... and work really hard to make things work?

I know one has to follow one's dreams.. but is it worth giving up what I have? I sometimes think my expectations of life is a bit too high......................? If I leave for Europe I will have wonderful experiences... But I'll always come back to what I know, and it is where my roots are, here... with the same people and same things and same life... If I give up everything now... What then?

Confused. Highly confused. And indecisive. C'est moi..
Answer 415 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Frusty's observation is valid and could be significant. Giving up your dreams would be a very serious decision, needign to be made only for very major reasons. Isn't some compromise possible, if, as you seem to be saying, you love him and would like to be married but not exactly now while you have your overseas plans ? Could he join you overseas ? Could he understand the importance of this to you, and consider postponing the wedding he has in mind ?
Surely a discussion with him is needed, rather urgently ? If he already had known of your plans, this would have prevented this situation from arising. As ... wisely says, too, re-read your older posts, and check whether the problems you previously identified have actually been deal with properly. Maybe a session or two with a counsello would help you to clarify your thinking and make a better decision ?
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