Ask an expert
Question

27 Feb 2004

Heart Broken
Hi,

I had this friend for nearly 10 years. We were just platonical friends, until about a year ago. Things started to change. We started to see each other more often and things got more intimate and personal. We never had sex, but did everything else. Anyway, he never wanted to commit to a relationship, but keep on telling me that he loves me and one day we will be together. Things feel so 'right'.

Now I know I shouldn't have been fooled by this, but I was. One day he told me that he wanted me and the next day he said that he needs space. I am very inexperienced with relationships etc.

The last couple weeks, he just stopped phoning me, we used to talk at least once a day. I phoned him twice and he said he was busy.

I know that I should move on, but I really do not want to spoil our friendship we had before or mess up the chances we might have in future.

Should I just leave it and wait till he is ready to see me again? I think he needs time away. Or should I phone him and try and discuss it and work out some solution. We have talked so much about this the last couple months, but never came to a solution. I just feel at this stage, he also avoids me because I over discuss the situation.

I also feel that he never felt anything more than friendship for me, and that it is normal stuff for him to tell his platonic girlfriends that he loves them and fool around. Or did he really felt something special for me.

Regards
Answer 450 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear Zoui,
it does sound as if it would be best to leave him for a while to sort himself out --- there could well be problems on his side not actually related to your relationship, even if they're affecting it. Maybe he does "love" a patonic friend, but not necessarily with the same meaning of "love" as you were interpreting it to mean. I love my cat, but I really have no plans to marry her.
Pursuing him may not succeed in bringing him any closer --- wait and see,
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
Voting Booth
Have you entered our Health of the Nation survey?
Please select an option Oops! Something went wrong, please try again later.
Results
Yes
33% - 9379 votes
No
67% - 19424 votes
Vote