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24 Dec 2004

Heartache and wishes
Hi guys and gals,
Feeling rather low today. Bf and I had a major argument last night because the ex-bf called and I spoke to him. I hadn't asked him to call and due to the bf's response I called him back and told him to never contact me again.
The bf feels he cannot trust me, I do not understand this, I haven't cheated on him and never will, I believe if you love someone that is where your heart is, you don't give it away that easily. I feel so hurt and scared that he will up and leave me soon, he said it was over last night then we had a talk and now it seems okay again, he said's he loves me but what if? I have abandonment issues from a child and that is when I over react and hurt myself and I have now but in such a way that it is not visible.
I felt like curling up last night into a ball and just dieing, my heart honestly felt like it had been trampled on, squished into oblivion and it still hurts this morning. Am I over-reacting?
I know one should not be so dependent on someone else for your happiness but if he leaves it feels that it is just another one because we have slept together and I have issues surrounding this. One doesn't say or love someone and then just stop or am I wrong?
Babbling again. With Christmas coming up I really feel so much heartache and insecurity but I hope everyone else has a wonderful and blessed time.
Answer 388 views

01 Jan 0001

Make sure he understands those abandonment issues of yours --- maybe, from the sound of his over-reaction last night, maybe he has abandonment issues, too ? You don't deserve to be abandoned, and you never have. I don't accept your wish that "everyone else" should have a wonderful and blessed tim --- make that inclusive, of you, your bf, and all, and then I'll gladly join you !
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