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15 Aug 2007

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I have a friend who has a son with her ex-boyfriend, they broke-up in 2004. The father was not involve in the child's life for almost 2 yrs. About 4 months ago he said he wanted to see the child, my friend didn't have a problem, she allowed him to see the child. Now the problem is that he is unreliable, he cant keep his promises. Every week he does something wrong and it upsets my friend. My friend is a very responsible mother she raised the kid on her own and she is taking good care of her kid and I am afraid that this whole thing will affect their relationship as they have a very good relationship(mother & son). What can I do to help my friend.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

It sounds as though your friend needs to confront her ex bf, and make it clear to him that having effectively abandoned the child so long ago, he has no particular right to expect to see the boy, and that she is allowing him to see his son ON CONDITION that he is reliable and keeps all his promises, and does not disappoint or hurt the boy. Unless he does keep his promises and stops upsetting the boy, she is probably entitled to stop the visits.
If you are saying that the main problem is that the ex upsets HER, and that this in turn upsets the boy, then maybe she should strictly limit HER contact with the guy, so long as the boy is being properly cared for in such visits
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