Ask an expert
Question

30 May 2011

HELP
HI

Is not paying attention a learned process from childhood into adulthood. I was molested and when i told my mother she did not believe me. she pushed it aside. Now she is dead that i am older. It is like my concentration is not there and i pay attention only if i want to selective hearing. i went for cbt counselling.

Pls explain to me what is happening here.
Answer 489 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Paying attention is hard-wired into the human and indeed animal brain from the start. As we grow, we learn to pay more attention to things that are risky or pleasant, and may choose to pay less attention to things that bother us and which we wish to avoid.
Sadly, it is all too common for a mother to ignore a child's revelations that he/she is being abused. There are various, complex, reasons for this. And childhood abuse also in itself has many possible complex effects on one's feelings and atitudes as one grows. These are best dealt with by counselling with a skilled psychotherapist or counsellor, to set oneself free from the past. Sometimes the habit of not atending to unpleasant ( though relevant ) things can spread unhelpfully, and can indeed become a cause o other ificulties.
I would have expected any counsellor, including one using CBT, to have explored all these issues with you in some depth, and to have helped you deal with them with clear practical exercises and support. And that counsellor, having properly explored the range of your problems, would be in the best position to explain things helpfully
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.