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Question
02 Mar 2004
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Help Needed.
Dear Doc..
I was raped as a child by my cousin's husband.
My mum never knew of this until i was in standard 2.
Things are quite chaotic in my life.
I really don't know what to do.
I am 23 years old but I am treated like a child by my family.
My dad passed away 3 years ago and i reside with my mum.
My mum never gives me my space and privacy which i really don't think is fair.
At times i really feel like driving over a cliff or something.
I can't even go to work functions becos for my mum this is all unacceptable.
I have 2 elder brothers and a sister who have moved on with there lives .
I am seeing a guy who is not of the same religion as I am, but for my mum this will never be.
I luv this guy so much...
His parents and family treat me with utmost respect..
I feel like packing up and leaving but this won't solve anything as i would be only running away from my problems.
I think at my age i suppose to have peace , happiness and stability but i dread my life.
Also the age gap between my brothers and sister is very long and i somehow feel that i can't communicate with them...
Please help cos i feel as if i am losing it...
Please help!!!
I was raped as a child by my cousin's husband.
My mum never knew of this until i was in standard 2.
Things are quite chaotic in my life.
I really don't know what to do.
I am 23 years old but I am treated like a child by my family.
My dad passed away 3 years ago and i reside with my mum.
My mum never gives me my space and privacy which i really don't think is fair.
At times i really feel like driving over a cliff or something.
I can't even go to work functions becos for my mum this is all unacceptable.
I have 2 elder brothers and a sister who have moved on with there lives .
I am seeing a guy who is not of the same religion as I am, but for my mum this will never be.
I luv this guy so much...
His parents and family treat me with utmost respect..
I feel like packing up and leaving but this won't solve anything as i would be only running away from my problems.
I think at my age i suppose to have peace , happiness and stability but i dread my life.
Also the age gap between my brothers and sister is very long and i somehow feel that i can't communicate with them...
Please help cos i feel as if i am losing it...
Please help!!!
CyberShrink
Dear Phantom,
Mabe your mom feels guiltym about the fact that you were harmed by someone she trusted, and is now unable to trust others, and yet desperate to try to protect you ? And maybe your mum leads a lonely life on her own, and is scared of losing you, as the others have move out and on with their lives. That's no justification for her smothering you with excessive interference, but it may hellp to understand it.
The two of you need to discuss these issues, and reach an agreement that suits you both. And as for the bf, if he's as good as he sounds, explain to her how good it feels both to be loved and respected, and that you expect her to respect your decisions, and support you in your quest for love.
Mabe your mom feels guiltym about the fact that you were harmed by someone she trusted, and is now unable to trust others, and yet desperate to try to protect you ? And maybe your mum leads a lonely life on her own, and is scared of losing you, as the others have move out and on with their lives. That's no justification for her smothering you with excessive interference, but it may hellp to understand it.
The two of you need to discuss these issues, and reach an agreement that suits you both. And as for the bf, if he's as good as he sounds, explain to her how good it feels both to be loved and respected, and that you expect her to respect your decisions, and support you in your quest for love.
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