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Question

01 Aug 2008

help urgently needed
Hi doc,

I am at the place in my life where i really feel that everything is getting to much& i dont know how to handle it anymore, i am the point where i feel like ending it all.

and the biggest part there off it is my relationship with my boyfriend of 5 years.

I' ve been taking alot from him, he doenst really treat me bad except that he always puts me last in his life, and no matter what my opinion never counts. I feel like im not good enough for him he is always ranting and raving about his sister in law she can do nothing wrong in his eyes and he must always tell me her opinion of something over and over and i can not take it anymore, it feels like he rather wants her.

We have been talking about marriage the last two months about we set a date even though we not engaged yet as we need to pay for it ourselves, but i know i am the one that is going to end up paying for everything, and when ever i talk to him about my ideas and venues its like he doesnt really care what im saying, since we started talking about marriage i' ve been seeing more and more of the true person he really is and i just can not face a life long marriage with a person like him and i know he wont change.

and another big problem is hes work hes working for his brother but hes like a slave and always willing to do the crap job there was a oppertunity now for him the salary was less with a 1000 but it also inclueded a company car, company petrol and a company cellphone of whic he doesnt have rite now except the company car i told him about it and hes reaction was how can i ever expect him to go work for a smaller salary, but he is just thinking about himself, hes brothers company isnt doing good and he os thinking of closing the company so i asked him what if that happens where is he going to get a work so hes answer to me was he will face it when he gets there, but hes not thinking about our future our life together, hes working till what hours in the night now hows it going to be if we married?

no matter what i do but i cant stay calm about this all, i get very tense, is there some sort of calming tablet that dr can suggest that is natural and not addective?

Answer 438 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

I understand that you're finding this situation very distressing, but don't ever allow situations like this to have you even consider harming yourself --- you're worth so much more than that. You really don't seem to be discussing a desirable relationship, with a man who doesbn't sound as though he loves or even appreciates you, and who would even expect you to pay for the wedding, if there is one. It may be significant and valuable that you have realized how he is and that he will NOT change. He seems to want, whether within the relationship or in his working life, to ignore the future, rather than to face it and prepare for it.
Now, given a situation like this, do you really need a tablet to make you calm and not bothered by a situation whih OUGHT to bother you ? I think you should rather see a counsellor, and work mon issues like self-esteem and assertion, and to make the best decision for you ( which may be to leave him and move on, and wait for someone who really loves you ).
Maybe you're thinking of your invbestment of 5 years in him ? But this investment does pay interest or dividends. They tell me most people who lose big money in investments, are not those who make some bad decisions, but those who refuse to reverse a bad investment once they recognize it for what it is, and who then stick to it and ride it all the way down, rather than retriieving their money, even if at some loss, and re-invest more wisely.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
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