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01 Feb 2008

HELP WITH SON
My son has just turned 28 and cannot seem to keep a job - he has been unemployed for the past 2 years and everytime he starts a job he only lasts a month and then something happens. He still lives at home and we do not know what to do as we are getting fed up. He was on drugs before but says he has not done it for over a year. I think the damage has been done though. He definitely needs to see a psychologist or mood / behaviour therapist. The problem is that he does not have medical aid and everything is so expensive. Could you advise where we can go and find help. He is like a jekyl and hyde and can be very rude and ugly when he does not get his own way.
Thanking you.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

What sort of "something" happens to end his jobs ? If he wants to re-assure you that he is not on drugs, he could agree to some random blood or urine tests. Sounds, frankly, as though, for whatever reason, he has become spoiled and is assuming that his paents will always be around to cover his expenses and look after him. How hard does he try to find and keep a job ? How hard does he work around the house ( chores, etc. ) ? Otherwise, how on earth does he spend his time.
What motivation is there, is any, for him to WANT to find and keep a job ?
Counselling could indeed help him, but only if he sincerely wanted to change and use that opportunity, otherwise it could be money wasted. It might be more cost efficient for you to see a psychologist for a couple of sessions to plan a behavioural regime to push your son towards taking responsibility for himself. And check the web and read up about tough love.
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