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12 Jul 2005

Hey hey
Hey Doc...its u doing? Feel sad 2day, not so cold anymore tho...just losing my faith in people....think they're all full of bullsh*t. Nobody's real that my vision is no longer clouded with all that medication I've been on for most of my that i can FEEL feels sore......feel so disillusioned in this stuffed up place we live in. Just want one REAL person to love me no matter wot. Stuff the politics of age, where we come from, what we've been thru...just love for now. Just want to be held in someones arms & b 4eva safe.....
dream on.....have made peace with thats not going to happen inmy life...i either meet very wealthy, older than me guys, who p*ss me off no end, as i hate materialistic people and hate the fact that i'm actually only one of the possessions....or on the other extreme - there are the 2o something year olds, who for some or other unexplainable damn reason, cant seem to get it into their heads.....i dont want to play anymore. i'm tired Doc, life is no longer a party....i just want to be......& i guess that means i'll have to get used to "being" on my own. Maybe its time to fill Sam's gap.....
My little brother is ok......altho i still worry bout him - he talks to me bout everything, but i'm almost sure he's still doing coke. he's such a beautiful person doc.....he has so much compassion in his heart.
my father has "written me off" in his words.....hasnt spoken to me for a month....wish i had the wisdom to believe in the wisest person i know, Andrew.....anyway....we live, and Learn? yea wotever.....not sure bout the learning part. but anyway my dad has hurt me so much - if this is wot being a parent is about - maybe its a good thing i never had kids. sad .... there comes that cold feeling in my chest...

hey....glad to hear u doing ok....didnt even know u had an op.
guess i better do wot they pay me 2 do.....

Love, sunshine....& sea-sand between your toes :)

Answer 366 views

01 Jan 0001

Hi Princess,
Thanks for the good greetings. Again, isn;pt this a problem of the need NOT to overgeneralize ? Certainly there are plenty of people around all bulging with merde, but there really are some who are not this equipped. Often, though, if one settles down accepting that one can be happy on one's own, one may then become more open to good relationships with good people, as one is less desperate, less clinging, and more able to take our time and to select more carefully.
Yes, live, and learn, and some of us may need a few more lessons than others, before we learn some of the important lessons. Apparently your dad hasn't learned them yet --- but don't allow his failings to drag you down.
Cheer up, and remember that warm sea-sand
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