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20 Apr 2006

well hi hope you are doing well. i thought i would update you on my never ending soap opera i call my life. well T has just broken his arm yesturday so they reset it he is fine hes glad to have a day off school. we will see now this term how he does in class trying to help him with his consentration. lots has happened since the last time i posted but ill try keep it short. my new job is going well to a point but im not worried about that. as far as B and i go well he has given me till friday to tell him what i want, its now or never do or die. the thing is i dont know what to do yes i conected with an old friend, flame and everything else and that has now become a huge problem, i guess im asking how do you know what you are ment to be doing i mean i look at my relationship with B and i think again after so many yrs we end up back in the space that we/me am questioning our entire relationship the thing is this isnt because of V it goes further back than that i think if it was because of V i could say so but i think V is a result of the relationship being in that place. i dont know im sure you understand what i mean by that. how do you know if you are just setteling for something or if it is realy what you want. now i guess you will tell me the same thing ive been told by others this is a decision only i can make and i need to make it completely on my own, but i would like some type of reply from you, am i just chasing dreams, dreams i know could be a reality, maybe im in denial about my relationship and i know what needs to be done but i just dont have the balls to do it and walk away coz i dont want to hurt anyone, maybe you could help a bit please. and i would realy like to know how you are doing. thanks again as always Kat
Answer 416 views

01 Jan 0001

Hi kat, good to hear from you again. Sorry to hear about T's broken arm --- I know what that can be like ! Pleased to hear the new job has been going well. There is no easy answer to the question you ask --- if there was, you would have found it already, yourself. Its tempting to ask someone else to make this sort of decision for you, because that way if it goes well you can just enjoy it, and if it goes badly, well, that's someone else's fault. In counselling, maybe you can explore these issues in detail, and work out the best solution available for you. But that's an answer I don't have here to give to you.
I'm geting by, adjusting the to inevitable permanent losses, and keeping busy. It works for me !
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