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19 Oct 2009

his jealousy is driving me crazy!!!!!
I have been seeing a guy for 6 weeks now. He is 41 and I am 25. He is recently divorced. He was with his ex wife for 22 years. They divorced because she cheated on him and left him for him another man. He took her back twice and she just kept on going back to this other guy. He is not all that innocent either as he cheated on his ex wife 2 years ago but then told her about it and stopped the affair immediately. From what he and family members tell me –  the ex wife was very jealous –  so jealous that she would attack my bf if he even glanced at another woman. My problem right now is that my bf is now very jealous of me. I cannot even look at another guy, talk to any of my male friends –  I cannot even go to the shop with his cousin to buy some coldrink and he thinks I am up to something. Two weekends ago he even went through my Cellphone and cross questioned me about my messages. I had nothing to hide but I feel like my privacy and trust have been broken. I do not mean to blow my own horn but I am good looking and have a lot of male friends. But I really do like this guy and I will never think of messing me around. He says that he does not know me and that is why he is like he is. How will he ever get to know me if he is going to mistrust me all the time??? I feel that what his ex has done to me –  I am paying for it. I really do like this guy but I actually give him no reason to mistrust me and yet he goes totally off the walls with me and accusing me of silly things.
I do not know what to do!!!!
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Beware of ANY relationship formed on the rebound, and soon after either partner has broken up qwith a previous relationship or marriage. They rarely work, and can lead to various problems.
It's not at all surprising that having had such problems with jealousy and cheating between himself and his ex, you have already experienced similar problems with him. These are unlikely to improve.
To deal with his insecurities would require a long period of herapy or counselling, and meanwhile they would play an unpleasant role in your relationship, and it doesn't sound as though he is really ready to sort this out yet.
Rather move on and find someone who doesn't arive carrying so much emotional baggage
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